Define Normal....

Am I normal? Is this normal? What is going on with my body, my mind, my (insert worry here)? Who am I? Who do I want to be? Why doesn't anyone understand? Only my friends understand....

These are the typical questions/thoughts going through any tween or teens mind on a daily basis.  With so much going on in tween's lives, is it any wonder that parents worry about and struggle with relating to their kids?  While all tweens are unique and will differ in their likes or dislikes, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) has created a Facts for Families: Normal Adolescent Development Part 1 list of normal feelings and behaviors of the middle school and early high school adolescents.  The list describes how tweens begin the move toward being independent, how they view the future, sexuality behaviors, and how they test and develop morals and values.  Thinking back to that time in my life, I find the list to be extremely accurate and could apply to my mindset at one time or another during my tween and teen years.

Parents combining the AACAP's list with the Search Institute's list of 40 Developmental Assets for Middle Childhood will have not only an insight into how their tween is thinking but also some ideas on how to support their child during this chaotic stage of life. The Search Institute suggests certain building blocks that help in the healthy development of tweens.  While each of the suggestions are good ones, I think that its important to remember that these building blocks are ideals.  It is not expected that every child will have the same resources, time, or environment in which to develop these assets.  The "Take Action" suggestions are just that suggestions that can be used individually or combined with other suggestions.
 
While a large number of tween parents will respond to the behaviors and feelings listed with a "Well duh I already knew that,"  the lists are still a good aide.  Sometimes an outside professional source is exactly the reassurance a frustrated parent needs.  Other times parents of younger children would like to know what to expect in the coming years in order to prepare to deal.  Both lists are also great tools for someone like me who has no children, but works with them on a daily basis.  As a youth librarian I need to be able to understand how tweens and teens are thinking, what types of issues they are struggling with, and what they're interests are in order to provide them with materials and programs that are useful and will appeal to them.